Online Punch

Just as you develop habits for getting to work, eating lunch, and organizing files, you develop habits for what you believe, perceive, and give your energy to. Consider, for example, a manager whose habit of noticing what might go wrong prevents him from fully considering the up-side potential of new ideas. His colleagues construe his relentless questioning as a chronic negativism and wonder why he can’t get behind the team.

Or take the case of a newly promoted department head whose habit of avoiding conflict is preventing her from confronting poor performers and assertively making needed work flow changes. Her staffers grow impatient as she gathers more and more information, while her boss begins to worry about her inability to prioritize and articulate a clear course of action for her unit.

Both of these examples illustrate how the “reality” of any given situation tends to conform to our preconceived ideas about how things are or should be. While gaps in hard skills, like understanding a balance sheet, are relatively easy to identify and fill in, it’s often quite difficult to pinpoint the personal assumptions and beliefs that can limit our effectiveness.

The Enneagram (”any-a-gram”) is a development tool that describes nine different personality styles and how information is filtered by each. It provides a practical method for understanding personality-based biases, and how they influence the meaning you assign to events and the actions you decide to take.

Each of the nine personality types can aptly be thought of as lenses of perception. Each lens brings certain things into very sharp focus (these are natural talents and strengths) and distorts some areas (these are blind spots). Your beliefs direct your attention to “evidence” that supports your ideas about how things should be.

The core psychological motivations that drive each Enneagram type are as follows:

	Type One individuals are motivated by a need to do things the right way, and focus on errors
 	Type Two individuals are motivated by a need to be liked, and focus on what other people need
 	Type Three individuals are motivated by a need to succeed, and focus on tasks and goals
 	Type Four individuals are motivated by a need to be different, and focus on what is unique and hard to get
 	Type Five individuals are motivated by a need to understand, and focus on gathering information
 	Type Six individuals are motivated by a need to be certain, and focus on what could go wrong
 	Type Seven individuals are motivated by a need for experiences, and focus on exciting possibilities for the future
 	Type Eight individuals are motivated by a need to control, and focus on getting power
 	Type Nine individuals are motivated by a need to for harmony, and focus on building consensus

Each focal point represents a strength that when over-used can lock you into a narrow way of reacting that may not be the best choice for all situations. However, once you become aware of limiting patterns it becomes possible to replace them with new ways of thinking that offer a more balanced perspective.

Here’s an example from a coaching client. This manager was working very long hours and making little headway on projects. After several coaching sessions (one of which included a typing interview) it became clear that this manager was an Enneagram Type Two. As she learned more about how Twos perceive and sort information, she saw that she rarely pushed back when asked to take on extra assignments, and was becoming resentful about all of her responsibilities.

One of this manager’s coaching assignments was to write down, over the course of a two week period, every time she said yes to extra assignments. Some patterns emerged. She had a strong desire to win the approval of her boss, and also wanted to protect him from repercussions if department goals were not met. She also feared that colleagues wouldn’t like her if she said no to their requests.

Over the next several months, this manager began clearing her plate of non-critical activities and delegating more to her assistants. She learned to be discriminating about which requests she said yes to, and took some risks in saying no. Since interpersonal skills are a strength, she became a mentor to colleagues (instead of taking responsibility for them), and found that giving staffers more independence freed up her time to focus on genuine priorities.

The Enneagram is particularly effective when combined with coaching and other development activities designed to help people learn new skills, increase their confidence, and become better leaders. The insights into motivation enable individuals to shift their perception at a fundamental level, and see how to step out of their own way. The results are better utilization of strengths, greater resourcefulness in confronting challenges, and an expanded view of what is possible.

Barbara Bissonnette helps business people function more effectively by leveraging their natural strengths and eliminating self-defeating behavior patterns. A certified coach and Principal of Forward Motion Coaching (http://www.ForwardMotion.info), she is the author of “The Personality of Business: Manage Your Style for Greater Success” which is available at no charge through her Web site. Barbara has more than 20 years of business experience, most recently as Vice President of Marketing and Sales for a privately held firm.

Schizophrenics hallucinate alternate realities. People who claim to have been abducted by aliens are accused of having Fantasy Prone Personalities. So what about those of us who claim to be conversing with angels, fairies, and spirit guides? Are we nuts? Absolutely yes! If we weren’t crazy before we started chatting with the divine, we soon will be. Just the constant questioning of one’s sanity can drive a person insane. How do you know if you’re really talking to spirits or if you’re losing your mind?

Let me start by saying that until the little creatures begin showing themselves as real and 3D touchable as any other critter on earth and do it on a massive worldwide scale so that they’re able to be counted and kept track of like anyone else on the endangered species list, then you won’t ever really know for sure will you? So why don’t they? Well that’s one of those million dollar questions. As far as I can tell it’s a combination of them not actually existing in a physical sense beyond the spiritual realm and that they get a certain amount of pleasure in teasing and playfully messing with our minds.

I don’t know what the official stance is according to the Grand PooBah of Psychiatry, but I know that most people who are certifiably insane don’t know that they are. The saying goes that if you are capable of questioning your own sanity, then you must not be too far gone yet. Not very reassuring, I know. Are they real or not? That’s the question you’re asking. I could give you one of those psychobabble answers like, “They are as real as you believe them to be.” Again, that doesn’t really help much.

Here’s the first question to ask yourself. Do they control you? The reason I ask is because throughout history there have been stories in all religions and cultures of some type of spirits that come to lovingly guide us along our way. So are the spirits controlling you and your life or are they guiding and nudging you? If they’re pushy and controlling you then there’s a higher probability that it’s a psychological game you’re playing with yourself. “The devil made me do it.” That usually means that you don’t want to face your secret motivations and so you have created an entity to force you to do things.

If they don’t control you and are simply loving guides trying to help out, then do you control them? If you are able to tell them what to do and they are working around the clock at your beck and call, then chances are you’re making them up. Free will is at the core of love. Nobody is forced to do anything. If you’re able to control when they come and go and what they do or do not do to help you, then you aren’t working with separate entities. Angels, fairies, and spirit guides are not our cosmic slaves to be controlled and dictated to. If you can do that, then they aren’t real.

Are you dependant on them? What I mean by this is that if they are an emotional security blanket then you’ve probably made them up in your mind. Real guardian angels and such are here to help you to believe in yourself, not to make you completely dependant on them for your every thing. If you can’t make a personal decision without your guides and they allow that kind of neediness, then they aren’t real. If you require they’re presence in order to create your art, play your music, or to write your great masterpiece, then chances are you don’t have enough self-esteem and you created a third party in your mind to give the credit to. That’s not the same as occasionally co-creating with them but being able to also work independently. If you are unable to do your spiritual works or offer your gifts to the world without their assistance, then they are probably not real.

Finally, upon meeting with the spirits and building a strong mentally healthy relationship with them where neither is a control freak bossing the other around and both are free to come and go as they please. Then the last thing to consider is the impact that the relationship has on you. Are you called to do some sort of spiritual work? Are you shown how to give some kind of a gift of love to the world whether it’s music, writing, speaking, art, cleaning up the planet or whatever else? Most people who come into contact with the divine find themselves with some sort of an undying need to spread love and joy around the planet. Real angels, fairies, and spirit guides teach us how to give our greatest gifts to the world. They empower us with the self belief that we have always had whatever is needed to make a difference in the world. If the relationship isn’t spiritual and inspirational, then it’s doubtful that it’s really spirit guides or angels that you’re talking to.

It is universally understood that the angels, fairies, spirit guides, or whatever other name your culture gives to those messengers of love and light, it is understood that they come from God. Again, it doesn’t matter if you call it God, Mother Nature, the Light, the Force or whatever name you like. These little spirits are divine helpers from the heavens come to cheer you on and to help you find a spiritually divine path. They are not owned by us and cannot be bossed around. They have no control over us and cannot boss us around without our consent. They can work amazing magic when co-creating with us, but they are here to show you your own magic and the divinity within you. Once that’s done, they tend to slip back into the shadows to allow you to shine your own light on your little corner of the world.

Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow’s Edge

About The Author

Skye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow’s Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps of faith. She became a writer in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, soulmates, and parenting. Her books and articles have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. To read more of her articles, sign up to receive her free weekly newsletter, and get free previews of her books go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net.

Skye@TomorrowsEdge.net